You can never understand some people’s battles until you walk a mile in their shoes. This has been one of the frequent lessons I have been fortunate to learn over the last six months. There was a time where I ridiculed people who suffered with depression and anxiety. “Life can’t be that bad,” I thought to myself. I wondered what could possibly be so terrible, as to make someone be in this dark state of mind. Little did I know, I would soon come face to face with my own mental health battle. I recall my job truly was taking away my peace of mind. I was reminded not to sacrifice my mental health for a paycheck, but I had bills to pay. This was something that for me it was easier said than done.
To make matters worse, I was amid waiting to hear back from physical therapy schools and I had personal issues going on. Now I know I busted my ass and I deserved to be in a program, but my mind would go in a frenzy occasionally. You know that voice in your head that says some of the most negative things? Yeah that’s what I was hearing daily. I began to question whether I was good enough. “There has got to be more to life,” I said to myself. Going to work at a job you despise and fighting your own mental demons can become exhausting. Eventually, you start asking different questions such as: “What’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I be happy like I used to?” I became so anxious and even experienced my first panic attack. The feeling is really unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I became afraid to mention it to other people because I didn’t think they would understand. Maybe you just don’t feel like being scorned and you hold it in. Sooner or later you begin trying to cope in some of the unhealthiest ways. For one person, it’s drinking, for someone else it’s smoking. The list goes on and on. Understand that it is okay to not have it all together all the time. Your mental battles do not make you weak; they make you stronger once you overcome them.
I’m in a better place today than I was a few months ago. I suffered in silence for a while, and I don’t want you to do the same thing. For anyone reading this, if you have dealt with the things I’ve mentioned or things that I haven’t mentioned, you are not alone. No one in this world has it all figured out. We all are broken and humbled at some point. Don’t suffer in silence, seek positive outlets, and surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. Be patient with yourself, and I’m not mental health expert, and I am only talking about my experience and what I learned. To anyone who has ever dealt with a mental health issue, if I was not understanding or was insensitive, I truly apologize. Keep fighting the good fight. Some days are up, and some days are down, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Be blessed.